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I've recently worked out that my bike is beyond my capabilities, and I look ridiculous riding a bike with an 80mm deep rear wheel huffing and puffing.

Spontaneous Confusion

So one of my old work bros hit me up and told me that he had a business idea he wanted to talk to me about. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have gone, yet I did and that's what gives me all these amazing stories to tell. Do you want amazing stories to tell? Go meet up with any cunt who asks for your time, tell your friends about the ordeal, rinse and repeat.

So I met this guy in the city, and he took me to a God awful restaurant. The kind of joint 24 year old guys take 18 year old girls when they're tryna get busy. We ordered some food and some beers, and the guy says ok, tell me how I can help your company.

Huh?

Mate, I don't own this company, you can't help me with it. I'm just a guy in IT.

He says tell me a problem that you have at work, and we can work together to solve it. He then tells me that his focus is spontaneous collaboration.

SPONTANEOUS COLLABORATION.

That's two words thrown together in order to sound snappy and professional, however what it really means is this that he hasn't planned any of this, and he's trying to win me over to sell his business into my company with some kind of Jedi mind trick.

After fending that one off, he told me about how he has an anti-bullying campaign he's trying to get funding for, and he believes he can eradicate bullying, as it is basic human instinct to love and care for each other, as witnesses through centuries of war, conflict and extermination of fellow humans.

Finally, he suggested that I'm a funny guy, based on my previous statements made to him about my opinions on human nature, and that I should look into creating videos for Facebook or YouTube. He would help me with the ideation process, as well as the distribution or whatever the fuck it was, I'm assuming in exchange for a fee.

Then I lied to him about having a prior commitment to get some friends from the airport. A lie I'm sure he saw straight through. I told him he'd given me a lot to think about as well, which was also utter horse shit.

Then I caught the train home, and in the process called a bunch of friends and related the entire bizarre and surreal series of events to them in exchange for belly laughs and being questioned on "why the fuck do you put yourself in these situations?"

Why the fuck indeed.

Under questionable advice, I traversed Saturday morning through to Wednesday night without consuming any carbs. People bang on about this no carb shit like it's the best thing ever. It fuckin isn't. I've dropped 4kg in the last 5 days, but at the expense of feeling like a tired senile pensioner.

Tonight I gave in and mumbled at Erika until the words came out that I needed a pizza. 15 minutes later one appeared in my lap. I hardly remember eating it, but I'm sure it was delicious.

Other current highlights include:
- exciting projects at work
- new people who wanna drink on Thursday nights at the pub and talk about football
- gym membership
- impending holidays

I wouldn't say life is riveting at the moment, however it is quite stable, and steadily ramping up to that magical time of year where you can get drunk and tell your coworkers what's really good at the staff Christmas party. Look for me, I'll be the one pointing a finger and starting conversations with "I'll tell you what your problem is"

Travelling man

I used to think getting paid to get on a plane and fly off to another city was a luxury, providing a free holiday in an exciting new place.



This couldn't be further from the truth.

An early morning flight depriving me of any personal space, followed by 2 days and 1 night of being trapped alone in a city with no mates and nothing to do meant that getting on the plane to come home felt like a god-send of sorts.



The free dinner was nice though?

Bigman ting

A bunch of stuff I ordered off the internet showed up, including bar tape that doesn't suck, a cool new bidon (cool word for water bottle) and some steering rack bushes for the 86. Something else showed up, but Australia Post seem to have lost that forever.

Since having my tonsils removed last month, I'm also trying to get back into some form of shape/fitness by riding the bike. Progress is slow at the moment, but it's still progress.


Driving holiday coming up soon, so that should make for some decent photos.

Back where we started

A lot has happened since I was last on here.

For a start, I'm now free of the financial and social obligations of owning old noisy Japanese cars.



I had owned this car for more than a decade, and it was the pinnacle of all my most childish dreams of owning a car, and a total gamble purchase where at the time a reasonable sum of money was sent overseas based purely on viewing 3 images on Yahoo Auctions.

Having spent the last 10 years hiding under car covers with promises of repairs and paint that never came, a new challenger appeared, ready to restore the car to all of its juvenile glory.



Another car that had been with me for what felt like an eternity, and one that had taken so much money off me, it was hard to know how to feel about it. Likely the product of years of Option videos and Hyperrev catalogues, this car was almost everything that I wanted it to be. ALMOST.

After many long nights wondering where it would all stop, and if the car would ever be finished, I decided it was time to go. The car was picked up at a relative bargain price by a friend, so it's still around, it's just not my problem any more.

With all these gaps appearing in my life, I had to pick up some new stuff to fill in the blanks, and a new fridge and washing machine just wouldn't cut it.



A combination of peer pressure and a desire to get healthier resulted in the purchase of a somewhat second hand Trek Emonda. A brand new frame with some outdated but still functional running gear, used by me to flail around the neighbourhood sweating and dying. Turns out you can spend a lot of money getting all kitted out to ride a bicycle, and who doesn't love spending money on things?

With another friend going through a similar "out with the old and in with the new" process, I was offered the opportunity to pick up this:



A 2012 Toyota 86 GTS.

It's had some money spent on it in the right areas, making it fun to drive, whilst avoiding any negative attention. It's also cheap as hell to run.

It's really nice owning a car that functions and doesn't require any real effort. It's brought a lot of fun back into driving car for me, and I can see some long driving holidays in the near future.

Bye.

Crash

Everyone's all like when u come off a motorcycle you'll be mad fucked up and it'll hurt heaps bad and you'll probably never ride a bike again.

I came off yesterday, in what I'd consider to be the best possibly way.  I slid straight past the car that had pulled out on me, protecting the left hand side of my body, with the right hand side of my body.  I wasn't wearing any gear cos nerds wear gear and I'm not a nerd and death is certain and whatever other stupid justifications I can think of, so I'm a bit shredded up, but to be honest, I keep thinking, why was I so scared of coming off this thing?  Aside from the damage to the bike, it almost seems the equivalent of falling off a skateboard.  I'm sure if I Guy Martined it into a wall and a billion miles an hour, I'd be singing a different tune, then again, Guy Martin is still singing tunes and winning races, so whatever.